I don’t know if it’s just me or what , but my babydad just irritate me . Like I’m getting real distant w him . &&he don’t even be doing anything . Everything he do is just like ughh
WeMoms
2 Apr 2024
My Husband Is Distant: What Can I Do?
My Husband Is Distant: What Can I Do?
Understanding the Shift
The journey of pregnancy is not just a physical transformation but also an emotional and relational metamorphosis. It's common for expectant mothers to notice a change in their partner's behavior, often perceiving them as distant or less involved.
This distancing can stem from a myriad of factors: the overwhelming realization of impending fatherhood, concerns about financial stability, or simply not understanding how to support their partner during this significant life change.
Recognizing that this shift is not just a personal experience but a relational one is essential in navigating these changes.
Spotlight on Signs
Recognizable signs of a distant partner during pregnancy:
- Emotional Unavailability: Less engagement in conversations about the pregnancy or the future.
- Physical Withdrawal: A noticeable decrease in affectionate gestures or intimacy.
- Preoccupation: Seeming distracted or excessively involved in work or hobbies.
- Lack of Enthusiasm: Minimal interest in pregnancy milestones or preparations for the baby.
- Frustration or Irritability: Short temper or annoyance over minor pregnancy-related issues.
Short-term Tips
Effective, immediate actions:
- Targeted Conversations: Initiate discussions about specific aspects of pregnancy and fatherhood that might be concerning your partner.
- Inclusive Planning: Actively involve your partner in decisions and preparations for the baby.
- Emotion Sharing Exercises: Set aside time to share one positive and one challenging emotion each day related to the pregnancy.
- Partner Bonding with Baby: Encourage activities that help your partner bond with the baby, like reading to the bump or playing music.
- Couples’ Pregnancy Class: Attend a class together specifically designed for expectant parents to foster a shared experience.
Long-term Strategy
For a healthier, long-lasting relationship:
- Ongoing Dialogue: Maintain regular, open conversations about both parents' expectations and fears.
- Shared Parenting Education: Continuously learn about parenting together to build confidence and shared responsibility.
- Emotional Support Networks: Encourage your partner to build a support network with other soon-to-be or new fathers.
- Realigning Relationship Goals: Regularly discuss and adjust relationship goals and priorities to adapt to your growing family.
- Mindful Coping Techniques: Incorporate stress-reduction strategies like mindfulness or couple's therapy for better emotional management.
Your Stories
Maria, 29, first-time mom:
During my pregnancy, I felt like I was losing my connection with Jake. He seemed distant, buried in work, and uninterested in our usual activities. It was hard, feeling both physically and emotionally alone. I realized we needed to address this when I found myself crying alone after a prenatal appointment. We had a heart-to-heart where Jake admitted he was scared about being a good dad and providing for us. We started going to a couple's counselor and took a parenting class together. It didn't solve everything overnight, but it helped us find our way back to each other.
FAQs
- Why does my partner seem distant during my pregnancy? This can be due to a variety of reasons, including fear, stress, or uncertainty about the impending changes.
- How can I help my partner feel more connected to the pregnancy? Involve them in activities like ultrasounds or choosing baby items, and openly discuss their feelings and fears.
- Is it common for relationships to struggle during pregnancy? Yes, many couples experience shifts in their relationship during this time.
- What if we can't seem to improve our situation? Seeking guidance from a relationship counselor or therapist can provide professional insights and strategies.
Navigating the emotional landscape of pregnancy requires understanding, patience, and a willingness to adapt and grow together. Remember, it's about building a new chapter as a family, with all its challenges and joys.
Learn more
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Jess
8 Oct 2023
I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow and it seems like as my pregnancy progresses my husband doesn't want to be intimate with me anymore. He keeps saying we will have sex and he will promise it but then it never happens. And I just feel so rejected by him all the time. I don't know how to talk to him about it without him getting mad at me for "always wanting sex". I don't always want it but when I do he gets distant with me. What do I do?
Crissy
That’s weird why would he get mad when you want sex ? It don’t matter if he get mad or not ask him why is he acting weird you have the right to ask ur pregnant with his child and that’s you’re husband too ask him don’t be scard !!!!!
27 Mar 2024
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Asya
Girl I can’t keep mines off of me
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Blocked user
15 Jun 2023
When I had my son my husband became very distant from us... This is our 3rd child together so I don't get why he became distant now out of the 10 years we've been together... I noticed it at the gender reveal when we seen it was a boy he really wanted a 3rd daughter so he up and disappeared for a few days. He was mad saying it was my fault since I had been saying I wanted a boy after 2 girls! Even though we can't choose what gender the baby will be. He loves his daughters but barely cares about his son.
Kinng's 👑 Mommy 💙🧸
Actually it's all up to the male to determine the sex of the baby 😂 so if he wants to blame someone he needs to blame himself for that ! But look at it this way God knew you needed a son to love and protect you and his sisters ! ❤️
27 Mar 2024
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Michaela
27 Oct 2022
So my mom just told me her and my dad and my grandma probably won't be able to make it to my baby shower due to my little brother having events going on and I do understand he needs my mom and dad. I'm so excited for him. but I've only got a few of my family members saying that their coming. Sometimes I don't understand why my family is so distant. I didn't think I would feel so bad for them not coming but it actually hurts. I'm blessed to have my husband's family. They're helping me so much and and they're so close like why can't my family be like that. I wasn't expecting it to bother me so much but it is.
Samara
I just went through this with my wedding because my mom and I had a falling out and because of us not having a relationship anymore, other family members who were not involved decided to choose sides. Obviously not the exact same situation as you but similar feeling nonetheless. Honestly family is who you make it, blood doesn’t matter. That’s how I take it right now.
27 Mar 2024
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Michaela
yeah I agree Im glad I have his family to call my own❤️
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Ariana
5 Aug 2022
Any other moms with advice on loosing your sex drive in the 3rd trimester? I just have such little energy that sex feels like a chore. Especially since I’m just so uncomfortable now. But I’m afraid that my husband is really upset and he’s been more distant since I told him that my drive is basically gone.
Ariana
That’s how I feel, I’ve just been really struggling with pregnancy guilt. For example, wanting to clean the whole apartment, but being so tired all I can do is nap. It’s just harder than I thought. Feel like there’s still so much about pregnancy that isn’t advertised
27 Mar 2024
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Tiffaney
Some man’s can be so selfish .
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Brittany
30 Jun 2022
Hi my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2yrs now nothing is happening what can I do
Mayra
Try this tea and check when u Ovulating
27 Mar 2024
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Sherri
Stress can cause a change in hormones which can prevent it. Try conceive plus or other otc vitamins they basically just add vitamins your body is missing that help you conceive. They have some for men and women. Sometimes you just gotta stop stressing about it. Then it happens naturally. I say God has a sense of humor. I went to church with a lady who tried for years and her and her husband never got pregnant. Then they quit trying she thought she was going through menopause but at age 50 for her and 60 for him they found out they were pregnant. Yes they had their first baby in their early golden years. Both are still living he's in his 80s sglhe just turned 70 now and they are expecting their first grandchild.
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Olivia
23 May 2022
My husband is working on the boat, what’s something I can do a night and not cry my eyes out? He’s gone from home until July and this is hard not having him around and to sleep with
thania
Do u like to read ? Color ?
27 Mar 2024
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Olivia
I like to read, I just can’t sleep and if I sleep right now I would probably cry myself to sleep I don’t sleep good without him being home
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Angela
5 May 2022
Hello Momma's! I am struggling lately and I am not sure what the root cause is.. but I have been emotionally and mentally distant from my kids as well as my husband and I can't seem to pull myself back into the moments, the relationships. Has this happened to anyone ever? Does anyone have any advice to help me to truly connect with my family, my life. I try but continue to find myself constantly escaping/ distracting myself from true interaction and the here and now.
Phinesse
Your just going through postpartum it natural after having a baby. I still go through it at time you just need me time and a glass of wine with one of your close friends with a listening ear that’s it love. You’ll get back to normal it just takes time boo. But I’m here if you need to talk
27 Mar 2024
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Angela
Maybe it is still postpartum depression still getting at me.. LORD knows I got it bad with each child (4 children) , I just didn't think it would last over a year..
Thank you, great advice ladies!
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Esmeralda
25 Jan 2022
Honestly, I hate how I’m taking all my frustrations out on my husband. It’s making me feel….distant from him.
Sabrina
I feel ya I been doing the same
27 Mar 2024
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Crystal
Caught myself doing this today
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Molly
26 Oct 2021
Hi girls! Anyone here who has a distant partner? Really, I tried to talk to him about the problem but my efforts were in vain. Donknow what do anymore.
momandbaby
i've already been in your situation and i know how do you feel! never give up and don't stop to talk to him
27 Mar 2024
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