Okay can I vent to you guys rq? Ok so I feel uneasy conversating with my big sister/cousin about my pregnancy for one she got jealous after finding out that our mom/my aunt (her biological mother) is hosting my gender reveal/baby shower because when she got pregnant she asked her to throw her a baby shower and didn't even really ask her I remember it like it was yesterday she kinda demanded it as if someone owed her a baby shower after she literally married this man for my aunt to allow him to live with us and sleep in her room at 21 he refused to get a job and work he only wants to sell weed and she was on bed rest so they as a married couple couldn't throw a baby shower and at the time our mom couldn't do much money was tight and we weren't in the best place financially and she still had to take care of my little sister and I not to mention that we were still in school and every school project, every field trip, that money was coming out of her pocket alone so her and my grandma went to the store bought a couple things and gifted them to her along with some balloons and cards in the living room and she was extremely disappointed and ungrateful. She talked shit to me about HER Mom doing something for me when she didn't appreciate what she did for her and I politely corrected her and explained that my boyfriend(the man who got me pregnant😐) and I were going to throw our own gender reveal/baby shower and invite everyone else and that momma had came over the other day and as we talked about it she got very excited and texted me later after she got home and asked me if I would allow her to host it and ofc I said yes. This is my mom too, I've never hosted anything like this and I need help and honestly who better to give the envelope to? Who better to pull this event together than her? She's tech savvy, can keep a secret and knows how to host an event unlike my biological mom who struggles with a drug addiction and cannot do either of those things. But my big sister got pregnant and wanted an abortion but she and her "husband" were living with us treating us like shitty servants all day every day and we were raised Christian, so she wasn't going for her first grandchild being aborted all because my sister literally just didn't wanna go through the pain of labor. I want my child I've prayed for my child and I'm extremely invested in the well being and development of my child in every single aspect so when I start talking to her out of excitement about something new happening this week or certain things that I want to do because I've done research and something may be healthier than the traditional way of doing this or that I just feel like she shuts down... She doesn't really know anything about pregnancy like that because she wasn't invested in hers, because she never wanted to keep that experience. And I can just feel the energy whenever I try to have a sisterly talk with her as an excited mom to be/babysister that she feels as if... Idk like who tf does she think she is? Yaknow? ... It's just so draining. Not to mention the fact that I had a miscarriage last year and throughout my pregnancy she kept telling me how sorry she was for me, how bad she felt for me and even bashed me every time I'd reject her idea to terminate my pregnancy and would start telling me things I already knew like my body will never be the exact same and that labor is painful and raising a child is hard(which she doesn't even have to do because her mom is raising my niece while she rides around looking for the girl he's cheating on her with next and taking buses two cities over to spend nights at his place) I literally considered cancelling my party and just opening the envelope with my bf over dinner just to avoid drama and I've told Mom that and she told me not to worry about it and apologized for her behavior and I told her not to worry because if I were in the position she was in I'd be grateful for anything she did.